faith story

Back when we were going through the turmoil of this fall, I started feeling called to give my Faith Story at church. A Faith Story is the story of how our life and God's plan intersect.

I thought my story would be about faith and transformation. I thought Jay's transformation would be the highlight of the story. I thought the power of God to heal would take main stage.

And it turns out, I was right--sort of. It will be a story about transformation and healing. Except it will be about me. I had the main character wrong, not the story.

God is shaping and transforming me through this incredibly painful and awful experience. I am seeing His Hands shaping all that has been happening to me, even the painful stuff. I am being refined in the fire and I will come out so much stronger than I went in. I will be healed one day. I will be able to understand why this had to happen.

That will be a beautiful story.

just ask!

If you want to read the new blog, please just ask! People seem to think I am trying to limit my readers--that is so not the case. I am more than happy to share with whoever wants to follow this path with me. I just needed to get Jay off my back--that is the main reason I made it private.

Just be warned---the new blog is even more honest!

sharing privately

I started a different blog last time we separated that I will use for all divorce related information. This blog will simply be a place to post about my kids.

The other blog is private and not searchable. If you would like an invitation to read it, please send me an email. This is the best solution--nothing is public, nothing is searchable for future employers and you only get to read it if you really want to.

I still need to write. I like to write, it is theraputic for me. I like to be able to read back through to see how I've grown and how God has been working on my life.

Cleaning up

I am going to take down all these posts for a while. Jay and I talked; he had some valid points about me sharing our business with the world. I never meant to hurt him or his family--I was trying to work through my feelings in a way that felt normal to me after blogging for over three years. I'm very open with people and feel that trials are meant to be shared because there is usually someone out there that is either experiencing the same thing or has advice to give.

But I have caused pain for Jay and his family and that makes me feel terrible. So my paper journal will need to capture all my thoughts about this situation for now.