my sweet little man

I was recently reading some of my blog posts from last year around this time. Most of them were about Ethan and how I felt he was out of control and didn't know what to do.

I think it is time for me to say a few things about him now, one year later. The rough stuff from last year was clearly just a phase, a part of the growing up process. He is such a wonderful kid! I'm sure we had to go through the really difficult times in order to get here, so I guess it was worth it.

Ethan is completely obsessed with sea creatures. I have learned so much more than I ever thought necessary! :) I am amazed at how bright and curious he is. I am certainly not that way, nor was I that way as a child so I'm assuming that comes from Jay. He asks great questions and really hungers for information. It can be challenging to keep up with him since he asks questions literally from the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed. "Mom, what does "species" mean?". "Dad, how big is a manta ray?". Even though I get tired of it, I can still appreciate his need to ask. We do our best to answer what we can. We DVR everything we see about the sea and have recently begun checking books out of the library. These books come from the big kids section and although he can't read, he devours the pictures.

His memory is uncanny. And his vocabulary is amazingly large. This from a kid who talked later than normal and caused me angst. I clearly didn't have anything to worry about!

He is sweet and careful with Olivia (most of the time). He helps her get up when she falls, finds her sippy cup for her and helps her out when she gets stuck behind furniture (yes, this does happen). He is an extra set of eyes for me and I appreciate that.

He gets up early in the morning but is happy to just watch PBS Kids and let the rest of the family sleep. He sometimes cleans up his room without being asked. He tries hard to please us and to be helpful. We don't have those same discipline concerns we had last year.

I hope this doesn't come across as bragging about my boy--I don't think I'm that kind of mom. I just want to shine the spotlight on Ethan for once--he doesn't get much positive attention on this blog.

Ethan, you are the best kind of boy I could have! I hope you remain a curious boy ready to explore your world and continue to just be you. Love you buddy!

does anyone else do this?

I still check on my kids each night after they've gone to bed to make sure they are still breathing. Anyone else do that? Ethan is 4--I don't honestly believe he'll stop breathing but it is a habit I picked up when he was a baby and I just haven't shaken it.

One of my favorite things to do each night before I crawl into bed is to check on both kids. I go to Ethan's room first, give him a kiss and smooth his hair. Then I go to Olivia's room and rub her back for a moment. Only then can I crawl into bed. I don't think I could sleep if I skipped this step and when the kids aren't there at night, this is the time I miss them the most!

I think what I am really doing is enjoying their sweet quietness--it prepares me for another day of craziness.

this is my day

Ethan started throwing up ("spitting") this morning. It is terrible. I feel so bad for him--you can tell when it is coming. He starts whimpering and then a few minutes later starts spitting and sobbing. He just begs us to make him better or take him to the doctor. I hate feeling helpless to make my kids feel better! He's gone an hour now without throwing up and is finally sleeping. Hopefully he'll rally soon because Mom and Dad have a date tonight! :)

Ethan watered the lawn tonight...

and by that I mean he dropped his drawers in the front yard and peed. Seriously. It was absolutely the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

I was dealing with Olivia (who I think is teething and refusing to go to bed at night) and heard Ethan and his friends leave the house. I went to the door to look for him a few minutes later and saw Ethan, all alone thankfully, peeing in full effect. I opened the door and started to say "stop" and then Ethan yelled "It's okay Mom, it's just like the campground!". I started laughing like crazy and called Jay over to witness this milestone of childhood.

After I was done laughing I went out to explain to him that although we pee in the woods when we are camping with Grandpa Jimbo we should use the potty when we are at our house. He listened to my words but was quick to say "Well, I had to go". Wow.

I did take a quick peek around and it appears that most folks had gone in for the night. But really, who cares? It is FUNNY!

I think we're raising a monster.

Okay, I am looking for help. Ethan is OUT OF CONTROL. I realize that he is 3 1/2 years old and that kids this age are crazy. But he seems a little crazier than most.

He has taken to yelling and screaming at us, ordering us around, and slapping or hitting us when he gets mad. He also has some pretty ferocious tantrums, which is to be expected, I suppose.

I'll admit that Jay and I are not the best disciplinarians around. We lack consistency, mainly because nothing we try seems to work so we move on to something else after a week. We have started spanking but that seems to be sending him a conflicting message---"Don't hit us or we'll spank you".

Does anyone have advice for me? Things that have worked in your family? We leave for Florida in 3 days--I am dreading the behavior issues we are bound to have.

In Ethan's defense--he is a sweet little man most of the time. I understand that he is just trying to figure out his world but I really don't want him to figure it out by treating us this way.

Comment or email me NOW! :)

Musing on in-laws

The topic at MOPS today was In-Laws. You can imagine the groans and rolling of eyes this elicited from many women present. I thought it was a great topic. So many women (and probably some men) have issues with their in-laws. I've heard lots and lots of stories. Sometimes I think that, yes, their in-laws are crazy and other times I think that people just need to lighten up and loosen their control a little.

I'm very fortunate to have in-laws that I love and love me back. Doug and Debbie (or the Double D's, as they are affectionately called) have always been wonderful to me. In fact, they call me their "daughter-in-love" rather than "daughter-in-law". Just one word different but the meaning is miles apart. They are emotionally well-adjusted people and I realize that not everyone has the fortune to marry into a great family like that. They have told me that they have been praying for me (not me specifically, just Jay's future wife). That is a wonderful thing to be told.

The speaker today had some good bits of info to share. I will share them here for those of you that find this topic as interesting as I do.

1. In-law relations is a two way street! Both parties contribute to the success or failure of the relationship.

2. The issues that come up can be grouped into these areas:
-competition (usually between the new wife and the mother-in-law)
-lifestyles (we all do things differently)
-control (this is a biggie, at least from the stories I have heard)
-expectations (some moms assume they will be close with the new wife, maybe the new wife wants distance)

3. The best way to deal with problem in-laws is to strengthen your own marriage--present a united front!

4. A healthy family has clear lines of separation/boundaries.

5. Moms must step aside when their children marry--their child has a spouse and they are a family unit now.

This was the best one...

6. You do not have to attend every argument you are invited to! Profound.

After this talk I started thinking about in-laws and the sudden realization that I will be a mother-in-law (hopefully) someday! I know many of us pray each day for the person our child will marry--perhaps we should also include the family of that person! Life is too short to quibble over relatively minor things. I know some folks have dysfunctional families that are unhealthy to be part of; I'm all for keeping distance in that situation. But try not to let the little things undermine what could be a great relationship. Also, remember that your children will see and hear you--if you complain about your in-laws then they may grow up with the expectation that they will also complain when they get in-laws.

For those of us with children, just try to put yourselves in their shoes. Figure out a way to make it work, as Tim Gunn would say. :)

This poem made me tear up when I thought about my little man getting hitched someday.

To His Mother
Mother-in-law they say, and yet,
Somehow I simply can't forget
'Twas you who watched his baby ways,
Who taught him his first hymn of praise,
Who smiled on him with loving pride,
When he first toddled by your side.
Mother-in-law but oh, 'twas you
Who taught him to be kind and true;
When he was tired, almost asleep,
'Twas to your arms he used to creep.
And when he bruised his tiny knee,
'Twas you who kissed it tenderly.
Mother-in-law they say, and yet
Somehow I never shall forget
How much I owe to you,
who taught him how to grow.
You trained your son to look above,
You made of him the man I love.
And so I think of that today
When with thankful heart I'll say,
"Our Mother".

(Anonymous)

I hope that my future daughter-in-law will think of me this way someday!

Big news....

Ethan used the potty tonight for both #1 and #2!!! Sorry to be indelicate but this is a red letter day in the Olson house. We've been encouraging, begging and bribing this kid for three months to do this! I almost cried when I found out. I was at Joanne ETC doing some shopping and Ethan called to tell me the news. I kind of had a hot flash too--I was that excited!