confessions of a mean mommy

"You're a mean mommy!". I seem to be hearing that a lot from Ethan these days. He usually says it in response to me saying that no, he can't have M&M's for breakfast or that no, I will not take him to Target to buy a new toy (apparently the fact that Christmas was less than a month ago escapes him).

In response to being called a mean mommy, I tell him that my job as a mommy is not always to do what will make him happy. He doesn't get this, and sometimes neither do I. It would be so much easier to just give in and quit the fight. Almost daily I find myself teetering on the edge of giving up. Yesterday he told me, quite forcefully, that he hates me in front of some of my friends. Yikes. That hasn't happened before. I wasn't sure exactly what to do (I know what I would've done if there were no witnesses! Just kidding.) so I just told him that it is not okay to say that and that it makes mommy sad to hear that. He apologized later, which I do feel was sincere. I know he doesn't really think I'm a bad mommy. I just think he gets so angry when he doesn't get what he wants. It is that he wants it---that is the only thing that keeps me from giving up. If I give up, he wins. And he will continue to act like this and become an adult that I can't stand. And I love him too much to let that happen. I guess I'd rather fight the battles now rather than later.

I haven't blogged in a while...mainly because we have been hit with illness after illness lately. Both kids are on their second rounds of antibiotics for ear infections. Ethan had a fever for a week and now has a sinus infection. Olivia, besides being crazy, is starting to ooze snot all over the house. Oh, and did I mention that we leave for Florida in 10 days? I am very much looking forward to getting out of this house and for my kids to be able to run around as God intended. Minnesota in the winter months is a hard place for little kiddos. I see the older boys that live behind us out sledding almost every day--they can actually stay out and have a good time. Olivia can't move in all this snow and Ethan is so skinny that he turns purple after about 3 minutes.

As long as I'm continuing with this down blog, I might as well add more to it. I'm feeling restless lately. I'm wishing I could work more. I need a break from the day to day with these kids. I love them and I am so thankful that I have the ability to stay home--don't get me wrong about that. But I miss feeling like I am good at something. Most days I feel like I am really sucking up this parenting thing and my kids will pay for it later. I miss seeing my friends. I miss getting out of the house. I know I can go out anytime but sometimes it isn't that simple. Some days I just can't stomach the idea of getting everyone dressed, bundled up and in the car, only to go out and deal with the tantrums and the whining. And I'm trying to save money these days so going to a mall or Target is just a bad idea.

On the bright side, I had a great time at book club last night and am thankful I have a monthly date with those women. We are a lively bunch and several of us (myself included) have strong opinions that we aren't afraid to share. I always come away fulfilled and glad that we had such good discussions.

Ethan is in the kitchen asking for Cheetos for dinner. Here we go again.

Merry Christmas!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas yesterday. The Olsons did. Long days, but great days. Ethan is at a fun age where he gets super excited about Christmas. He opened gifts with great gusto and promptly tossed them aside to tackle the next gift. He also liked to help others tackle their gifts and spent most of his time running from one person to the next. Pibs was Pibs, didn't really seem too interested in the gifts but the ribbons and bows were fascinating to her. She actually wore a Santa hat most of the morning at Gramps and Gummies house!

The Louwsma side ended up having an impromptu Christmas last night as a preemptive strike in case Jake had to go plow today, which was supposed to be our Christmas Day. Wasn't needed, as you can see by looking outside, but a good idea nonetheless. We went back to the Louwsma's (aka The Black Hole, aka Bravo Hotel) this morning for the rest of the Christmas festivities. It is chaos with these three little kids running around. Only going to get crazier!

We got backed into by a semi today. It was weird. We were waiting to turn left off an exit ramp on 169. The (huge) semi decided it needed to turn right and proceeded to back up--right into us. We were (we thought) a safe distance and watched it all happening. I panicked and threw the car into park instead of reverse. Awesome. He hit us decently hard--it was a semi, after all. The kids started freaking out and I was pretty freaked out too. Thankfully there isn't much damage to the car (the Element is bullet proof, I swear). The trooper showed up to file a report--since it looked like we hit him we wanted to make sure there was proof that we didn't. Jay and I are both feeling pretty sore in our necks but hopefully that will get better tomorrow. When the truck driver got out, he asked us how far back we were. Yeah, that matters why? You don't back up on the road! Especially not in a semi, on an exit ramp where people are coming about 50 mph. It's probably best I didn't try to back up. It could've been much worse. So this is the third car accident Ethan has been involved in. The other two were us getting rear ended. This is a first for both of us. My Element has now been in three accidents, none of which were my fault thankfully. I'm glad it doesn't crumple (it's like a tank) but I think that might actually cause more bodily pain than cars that do crumple.

Anyway, I hope you all had great days. I've got my husband home now for 9 more days and am very much looking forward to hanging out with him, getting things done around the house and doing some fun stuff with the kids. On that subject, anyone have ideas of fun things to do with kids that don't cost too much? Peace out!

it just isn't the same

Cookie Monster of Sesame Street residence no longer eats cookies with reckless abandon. He often eats oatmeal raisin cookies and only in moderation (his words). Okay. I get that childhood obesity (and adult obesity, for that matter) is a problem. However, I don't think that Cookie Monster eating chocolate chip cookies like, well, a cookie monster is what is making kids fat. We all watched Cookie Monster in his glory days and I don't think any of us felt compelled to stuff our faces with cookies simply because he did it. Adults struggle with obesity for a miriad of reasons--none of which I feel can be linked back to Sesame Street. It makes me sad that our kids aren't able to have the freedom to just be kids like we did!

we're number one!

Folks, this is awesome. This photo is from 1992 after this group of gals (I am on the far left) won the Stock Market Game. The funniest part is that we played this statewide game in our REMEDIAL math class. We bought stocks based on the products that we thought were cool (I think that ended up being Harley Davidson and Coke) and sold it all right before Spring Break just in case. The market ended up taking a dive during that time and we came out on top. Our prize was a day downtown at Dain Rauscher--I don't think they expected that a group of girls in stupid studies would win this. We had no clue what was going on. It was fantastically funny in retrospect!

wave your hands in the air, shake your derrière

I was on the treadmill at the gym the other night when Whoomp (There it is) came on my ipod. I nearly started busting out some of my awesome wedding dance floor moves right then and there--I had to remind myself that no one else could hear what I was listening to nor understand how many memories are wrapped up in that song.

Do you ever wish people could hear what you are listening to? I often wish that I had a musical soundtrack to follow me during the day.

slideshows!

Last night Jay and I used the new movie maker tool on Picassa--totally cool! We made slideshows for each of the kids--our favorite pictures of each of them since they were born. Music is courtesy of DownDownDown. Ethan's song has some profanity--you've been warned.

Ethan's slideshow: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxHHKLrVjCA

Olivia's slideshow: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nep_l22QG9M

redefine christmas

Check out this website: http://www.redefine-christmas.org/index.php#home

I heard about it on NPR the other day. The idea is that during the holidays we are so intent on giving gifts to everyone on our list that we sometimes forget to give meaningful gifts. Our family has struggled with this for some time now. We live in a time where we can go out and buy whatever it is that we need/want at that particular moment. When the holidays come around, it gets difficult to come up with ideas of what to give and what to put on my wish list. I am blessed to have that problem, I know.

But have you thought about donating the money you would spend on gifts for your family to a charity of your choice? What would that be like in your family? I suppose if you have a family whose love language is gift giving/receiving, it could be a problem. My family (Louwsma's) has been doing this for a few years. While we still give each other a few gifts we also give chickens and cows via Samaritan's Purse and we donate to AfricaWorks, a non-profit Jimbo is involved with. We all pitch in money for shoeboxes filled with little trinkets for Operation Christmas Child. This year we will be making midwife kits for Global Health Ministries (ghm.org)--simple supplies to send to impoverished areas of the world that don't even have a clean environment for their babies to be born into.

I know money is tight all over the place right now but think about this:
-for $7 you can give hot meals to a child for one week
-for $4 you can provide milk to a child for one week
-for $6 you can provide a thick blanket to a child
-for $15 you can provide a month's tuition and school supplies so a child can get an education

The list goes on and on. And this is only one organization! I encourage you to check it out this holiday season. And when it isn't the holiday season as well. Put one less gift under the tree and donate that money to someone in desperate need. Just something to think about.