Party of Four

faith story

2012-01-17T21:13:00.001-06:00

Back when we were going through the turmoil of this fall, I started feeling called to give my Faith Story at church. A Faith Story is the story of how our life and God's plan intersect.

I thought my story would be about faith and transformation. I thought Jay's transformation would be the highlight of the story. I thought the power of God to heal would take main stage.

And it turns out, I was right--sort of. It will be a story about transformation and healing. Except it will be about me. I had the main character wrong, not the story.

God is shaping and transforming me through this incredibly painful and awful experience. I am seeing His Hands shaping all that has been happening to me, even the painful stuff. I am being refined in the fire and I will come out so much stronger than I went in. I will be healed one day. I will be able to understand why this had to happen.

That will be a beautiful story.

just ask!

2012-01-08T22:16:00.003-06:00

If you want to read the new blog, please just ask! People seem to think I am trying to limit my readers--that is so not the case. I am more than happy to share with whoever wants to follow this path with me. I just needed to get Jay off my back--that is the main reason I made it private.

Just be warned---the new blog is even more honest!

sharing privately

2012-01-04T12:05:00.002-06:00

I started a different blog last time we separated that I will use for all divorce related information. This blog will simply be a place to post about my kids.

The other blog is private and not searchable. If you would like an invitation to read it, please send me an email. This is the best solution--nothing is public, nothing is searchable for future employers and you only get to read it if you really want to.

I still need to write. I like to write, it is theraputic for me. I like to be able to read back through to see how I've grown and how God has been working on my life.

Cleaning up

2012-01-03T22:11:00.003-06:00

I am going to take down all these posts for a while. Jay and I talked; he had some valid points about me sharing our business with the world. I never meant to hurt him or his family--I was trying to work through my feelings in a way that felt normal to me after blogging for over three years. I'm very open with people and feel that trials are meant to be shared because there is usually someone out there that is either experiencing the same thing or has advice to give.

But I have caused pain for Jay and his family and that makes me feel terrible. So my paper journal will need to capture all my thoughts about this situation for now.

so true

2011-12-30T12:07:00.002-06:00

Remember this

2011-12-25T18:38:00.001-06:00

This is not how it should be
This is not how it could be,
But this is how it is –
And our God is in control.

This is not how it will be,
When we finally will see -
We’ll see with our own eyes,
He was always in control.

This is not where we planned to be,
When we started this journey –
But this is where we are,
And our God is in control.

Steven Curtis Chapman

just realized

2011-12-15T21:11:00.002-06:00

So a lot of people have been asking me how things are going. And I've realized that most of the time, they ask with hesitation--like they are almost afraid to ask. Why is that?

I haven't been super vocal about how things are going--certaintly not as vocal as I was when thing were going terribly! I've been thinking about that a lot lately--why am I keeping it to myself?

I've come up with a few reasons. First, I am so freaking happy that it seems like bragging to talk about it. Seriously! Second, I'm afraid that if I really talk about how happy I am, people will assume I am delusional. Third, if I talk about how great things are, it only makes it painfully and embarrassingly obvious how bad things once were. I look back on the majority of my marriage and see how bad it was and it makes me cringe. How did either of us survive in this marriage for 11 years?

I was delusional for a long time, completely in denial. I thought things were good enough. I was willing to settle and I did for a long time. Then that place became less and less comfortable and doable. I think I intuitively knew that if I pushed him too hard, he would leave me. So I hung back until it wasn't possible anymore. And he left.

I feel like Jay and I have been to hell and back in the past four months or so. We had a choice--fight for our marriage or cut our losses. Thankfully we both eventually got to the fighting for it place. And I believe we came out of it different people. Jay is truly a different person--if you want to ask him about all this please do! He loves to talk about it. I also feel like I have changed. I have become more comfortable with conflict. It used to eat me up inside and I would do anything to make things better, not just with Jay but with everyone in my life. Now I feel like God truly is guiding my path (not that He wasn't before, I just didn't care). If there is conflict, I feel much more comfortable with just hanging back and letting things work themselves out instead of forcing it to happen and maybe settling for an outcome that isn't right. It is a huge shift for me and is taking some getting used to.

I feel like I have a partner for the first time ever. I can't even describe what a huge deal this is. I'm still trying to get used to being able to ask him to help out with a chore and have him cheerfully tackle it. I used to expect nothing from him just to keep our home free of conflict (yep, that worked really well). There have been times where we have uncomfortable conversations and instead of a cold wall, he is a warm and caring person that tries to understand me rather than ignore me. It is still kind of freaking me out! But I love it. And I love that it all feels so real. I've seen him white knuckle our relationship many times and this is nothing like that. It is hard to describe but I am confident in our relationship and the bond we are rebuilding--or maybe building, since it is brand new to us.

our beautiful disaster

2011-12-03T17:08:00.001-06:00

The time has finally come for me to write about our beautiful disaster. I've been waiting until I felt ready and now I do.

We now refer to our crisis as a beautiful disaster. A disaster to be sure, but beautiful in the sense that we now have a stronger, more honest, more real marriage than we ever could've had without it.

Our countdown to disaster probably began the moment we met, as crazy as that sounds. I thought Jay was the perfect boyfriend. But that was not because he was being himself--he was being the person he thought I wanted him to be. I didn't realize this, of course. What has come to light is that Jay doesn't have a strong self identity. He has always adapted himself to be who he thought people wanted him to be. And this worked for him for a while and then it just became too much work.

Jay's drinking started out innocent and normal, like how the rest of us drink. Then it turned into getting drunk on Saturday nights while he played video games. I thought he deserved to unwind after a hard week of work so I never gave it a second thought. About six years ago, it had become a near nightly thing. Still, it didn't really bother me because I felt like things were good enough between us.

When he decided to lose weight, he completely stopped drinking. I took that to mean that he was not an alcoholic so things were okay. Once he lost his weight, he started drinking again. This time it became a seven day a week habit. But he always stopped at two drinks. Just so we are clear, each drink was about 4 shots of vodka.

Then Olivia was born. I got really sick and lived in a fog for the next two years. I didn't really care that he was drinking because I was barely functional at that point. As long as he was drinking, he was happy and didn't care that I was a blob of inaction. There were times he felt like he needed to quit drinking and he was able to maintain sobriety for up to six months. But he always went back to drinking every night, no matter what kind of "deals" he made about (i.e. only drink with friends, only drink on the weekends, only have two drinks).

I didn't ever think he was an alcoholic though. And I didn't think our marriage was in trouble. I felt like this was as good as it would ever be so I better just learn how to deal with his coldness, his disinterest in me and the kids and his obsession with work.

My breaking point came in July of this year. It was a Saturday and we were sitting on the deck enjoying the sunshine. And I realized the drink in his hand was not just Mountain Dew. And I realized this was a problem. Our unspoken rule was that he would only drink at night--he had just broken that rule.

I got us in to see a counselor a few weeks later. We went weekly and for a while, I thought things were getting better. In retrospect, he was doing just what he needed to take the heat off so he could continue life the way he wanted.

Labor Day weekend was when things really picked up steam. We had a terrible counseling session that ended with him saying he wasn't sure he loved me and wasn't sure he wanted to be married. That was so painful to hear. I went to my sister's house after that session, not sure if he would be home when I got there or not. I sobbed in desperation on their deck. She and JT had also gone through the devastation of alcoholism and were able to provide me with good, solid counsel. Their words helped me get through the weekend.

On Sunday night of that weekend, we had my siblings over for dinner. Jay drank a bottle of wine and spent most of the night sleeping. I was furious that he was such a jerk and embarrassed by his behavior. That was the first night that he left.

He came back about 12 hours later telling me that he wanted to be with me. I ate it up! He traveled for the next two weeks for work. When he got home, we made it about a day before he left again. That time he was gone for two nights and again came home, telling me that he was going to change. Again, this lasted a day. At this point, he moved into my parents basement.

Now, before you judge this decision, please understand that I thought this was a great move. My mom is an amazing woman who was made to deal with stuff like this. She is sweet and nurturing but she has an iron backbone when it comes to dealing with these broken people. I am so thankful to my parents for opening up their home to a man that was making my life miserable.

We had our Grand Canyon trip planned and ended up going. It was awful. He basically ignored me the whole time and I pretty much cried anytime I was alone. The mood swings from him were so hard to deal with.

When we got home from that trip I discovered that he was lying to me about some things. I LOST IT. I called him and unleashed a string of profanity that would make a truck driver blush. I had to go out on my driveway so my kids wouldn't hear--somehow that is worse than the neighbors hearing!

At this point, I met with Sandy, my therapist. She saved me. And I'm not being dramatic. She took a broken woman, desperately trying to keep her life and marriage together at any cost and turned me into a woman, still wanting her life back but not on Jay's terms. She taught me about detachment (your reaction is not reacting) and helped me see that Jay really was an alcoholic. She gave me tools and the confidence to stand up for myself. Until this point, I felt that Jay was in control of how things turned out. Now, I was in control of me and my feelings. And I was able to frame up what life was going to look like for me. My bottom line was that Jay would get treatment for his alcoholism and no less than that would do. The desperation was overtaken by resolve. Now, I was still devastated--this didn't magically make me stop crying all the time.

I started practicing detachment towards Jay. At times I was successful, other times not as much. He told me later that he felt the shift and it made him sad, that I didn't care about him. Inside I was still dying but I was trying to keep it together on the outside. He wasn't the one seeing me cry anymore. My family saw most of that. They saw many meals ruined by my tears. One day my mom had to come over to help me wash my dishes--I just couldn't even figure out how to do the simplest tasks. At one point, I laid in bed for two days straight, only getting up to feed my kids. It was awful--I hate thinking about it.

Then came October 11. I had realized that day that Jay was still lying to me about some things. I was sick to my stomach. He had stopped by the house to pick up some things and I started asking him questions and crying (so much for detachment...). I wish I had a picture of what he looked like that night. He looked dead. His eyes were dead, his skin was sickly. As I stood there, heart breaking, watching this man I love die, something in him changed. I said something to him about him being an addict and that he will never be free until he gets treatment and suddenly he slumped over and told me to take him to treatment. I was stunned, so much so that I thought he was making fun of me by saying that. Once I realized he was serious, I ran into the house to call The Retreat, fully expecting him to be gone by the time I got back outside. But he stayed and spent an hour on the phone with The Retreat, crying and realizing that he needed help. I just sat there stunned. It felt surreal.

He stayed at the house that night and we sat on the couch talking for hours. He kept telling me he was sorry, that he loved me, that I was beautiful. I hadn't heard kind words like that from him in years!

The next few days were the best days we had in many years. We talked, we hung out, we just enjoyed being together.

On October 14 he entered The Retreat. Although he was scared to death of treatment, he never wavered on his decision. I honestly was surprised--I thought I would have to push him through the doors. The first few days were rough. He really wanted to leave, thought it was overkill, didn't think he was really an alcoholic. Once he settled in things got better. After about four days he was finally able to admit that he might be an alcoholic--this was a huge turning point for him.

His month in treatment, while challenging, was a great time for us. We got to talk a lot and I got to see him on Sundays. It was so fun for me to hear about his breakthroughs and his challenges. He wasn't able to fully admit to being an alcoholic until he was at The Retreat for 2.5 or 3 weeks! But when he did he told me how liberating it felt.

So what's up now? Jay has been home for about three weeks. He is still sober but more importantly, he is in active recovery. Yes, there is a difference. He has a sponsor and attends AA meetings with him. We will also start seeing a therapist together that specializes in addiction.

My prayer throughout this whole experience has been that Jay would be transformed. When I first began praying that, I knew it was a long shot prayer. I wouldn't allow myself to believe that God might answer that prayer. But then I began seeing the change in Jay and realizing that my prayer was being answered and I was able to watch it happen. So amazing. The Lord's hand has so clearly guided this experience that it is impossible to deny it. Nothing short of miraculous.

Our marriage is something that is 180 degrees different than it used to be. Some of it is little things--he kisses me goodbye in the morning while I'm still sleeping, he sits down and talks with me after work, he actively engages with the kids, he is more patient. Other things are big--he listens to me when I talk about how I feel and doesn't try to fix it or blow it off. He doesn't ignore me or treat me coldly anymore. He asks me how I am doing, how I am feeling. This is a major change from our "first marriage"!

I know there are things I am missing in here and more that I could add but I think it is long enough for now. I don't feel that keeping our struggles a secret is very helpful--the reason Jay and I felt like this should be posted it because some of you might be in a similar place or know someone who is. Maybe our story can help in some way.

I know this is ridiculously long--thanks for reading!

update!

2011-10-24T20:35:00.003-05:00

I've had a lot of you inquiring about what is happening and I figured I should update you all here.

Jay is still at The Retreat. He is doing well. I won't say it is all sunshine and roses, because it is most definitely not. But the light is shining brighter in him and each day he moves forward a little more.

Physically, he just looks better. His skin has color and his eyes have light again. He has a spark of life in him that has been missing for many years. At times, he is angry about things and I see that as a good sign--he is finally FEELING. After many years of numbing himself with alcohol, those feelings can be both good and bad. And the compulsion towards addiction isn't ever going to leave him--but he is learning how to manage it.

We talk several times a day and I spend five hours with him each Sunday. We are communicating differently than we ever have before, even before things got really bad. I have great hope for our future. I don't want our marriage back--I want a new marriage that is honest. We were both playing the roles that we thought were right but we managed to screw it up. I'm just thankful we get a second chance!

Next week I will spend four days at a family retreat at The Retreat. I won't spend much time with Jay--this retreat is meant for the family only. I will learn so much about how we got here and how we move forward. After all, alcoholism is a family disease and this will be part of us as we move forward.

So that is where we are at! I am doing pretty good, although I don't know how single moms manage! I am beat by the time dinner is done. I'm taking as much work as Bethel will give me to try and pay for this treatment which takes away any "free" time I might have. But all of it--the stress, the exhaustion, the aloneness--is worth it if it means I get to have my family back together.

While we were separated, the kids would ask me if Dad was going to come home. Since I really didn't know (and was pretty sure at times that he wasn't) I instead told them that God has a plan for us and His plan is good. It may be different than our plan but His plan is always better than what we want. I truly believe that now, really for the first time in my life. I've never been tested and always assumed that what I wanted was best so of course God would want the same. But this time I had to accept that God's plan for me might include divorce and it was out of my hands. I can look at all that has happened and see God's hand in all of it. I can see how it all had to happen in order for my life to be set right again. I think that is what keeps me from feeling bitter and angry--we had to go through the darkness to reach the light.

My new favorite song: Thank You for Hearing Me by The David Crowder Band. I nearly fell over yesterday in church as we sang it--so simple yet so perfect.

The Retreat

2011-10-15T17:56:00.003-05:00

Many things have transpired over the last five days, culminating in my husband checking himself into The Retreat for addiction treatment and recovery. I am so proud of him for taking this step that I can't really find the words to explain it.

This is by far the hardest, most uncomfortable thing he has ever done. It isn't easy and from the brief talks I have had with since yesterday, he desperately wants to check himself out. I hope he can stick with it because treatment became one of my non-negotiables in moving forward.

I will write more about this later; in the meantime, here is his address until November 12. Please drop him a note of support or encouragement if you feel led to. Thank you for all the support you have given me during this time-- now we have the chance to support Jay.

Jay Olson

C/o The Retreat

1221 Wayzata Boulevard East

Wayzata, MN 55391

beautiful disaster

2011-10-13T21:15:00.002-05:00

Proverbs 16:9

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

honesty

2011-09-26T10:51:00.002-05:00

I've been debating about whether or not to do this post. I think I'm making the right choice.

Jay and I are separated at the moment. Things have been rough for the last month and he and I agreed that perhaps some time apart would be best. He is in my parent's basement. Our problems have been brewing for many years and some recent events brought us to our tipping point. I want my marriage to be restored, and I believe Jay does too but neither of us want things back the way they were. So that means much hard work and dealing with uncomfortable things that we put off taking care of.

So I've been unsure whether or not to post about this. I don't want any ill will towards Jay from anyone and I don't want to have to answer questions because at this point, I have no answers.

But the reason I felt I should post something is this: my faith is being tested like never before and I am finding great comfort in the knowledge that God has a plan for my life. It may not be MY plan but His plan is always better. This is the first time in my life that I have been in the midst of a crisis that I have no control over. It is terrifying and I am so thankful to have God to rest in.

My dear friend, Christine Gumbe (who recently lost her husband, Sammy), has been a huge source of revelation to me. I was facebooking with her the other night around 1 AM while she was just starting her day. I had filled her in on the details before and was giving her an update. I fell asleep and when I awoke, I found this verse sitting in my inbox from her. I'm sharing it because I keep rereading it and getting something different each time. Part of my problem is that I've put so much energy into helping Jay and making him happy that I forgot about myself. I think that is a common problem among women! I was hit with anger and rage this past week and it was a really ugly place to be and I couldn't see my way out. Then I read this:

Romans 8:28... Trust Me in all things, and don't worry. Even when things are undone and seem chaotic, I am with you. I will lead you in the path of righteousness and establish you on the road to destiny. When the world around you is inconsistent and unreliable, I am your place of stability. I will not leave you or forsake you. I will remain faithful and perform My Word, says the Lord.

This calmed my spirit. It was exactly what I needed, at exactly the right moment. I hope that it can do the same for you. Maybe not now but someday.

a whirlwind...

2011-09-13T20:41:00.003-05:00

That is how the last week feels. New schedules to stick to--getting these kids to bed at a decent time is a lot of work! The afternoons and evenings go by so quickly and I find that I'm cramming in homework, baths, snacks, and prayers in a desperate push to have lights out by 8 PM. And for once, it isn't for my sanity! When the alarm goes off in Ethan's room at 7:30 he can barely function. This morning I found him sitting in his closet (buck naked) staring down at a Lego creation. He couldn't really find the words to explain to me what was happening so I just told him to giddy up. Rush rush! I don't like my kids feeling so rushed in the morning. I know we could get up earlier but then he would be even more exhausted! And going to bed at 8 still seems so early for them. They have a lot of friends in the neighborhood so there are always kids running around and it seems cruel to drag them inside when the weather is so delightfully fall-like.

Pibs had her first day of her second year of preschool today. I thought it would be big drama so I strategically decided to drop her off in the carpool lane instead of walking her in. Good move. She hopped out of the car and ran right inside, shedding nary a tear. Very good! Much improved.

I am working like a crazy person for the next few weeks. My work at Bethel becomes frenzied this time of year--I have 13 people to have individual consultations with and they were supposed to be done by today (they won't be). And I got the information 8 days ago. And I had to do all the scheduling myself. See where I am going with this? Not that I'm complaining--I'm happy to have the work!

On Monday I head back to my high school to do a Strengths presentation to two classes of "highly motivated business students". Hmmm, we'll see. Should be fun! Honestly, I'm more worried about finding my way into the building than the actual talking. The classes are both 86 minutes long with 53 and 36 kids--here's hoping they will participate! Goes so much better when people participate.

I also have three speaking engagements with MOPS this year. This one makes me a little more nervous simply because I don't have anything written already that I can use. I need to talk about using our strengths to enrich our marriage. Most of the work I do these days is focused on a team within a business. Luckily it isn't until March so I've got some time to think about it.

I do have a lot more time to work on stuff now though. Amazing what having a first grader can do! And my house stays a lot cleaner which is a bonus.

The Mad Men Challenge is plugging along...this week has caused some concern. My plan was to hit the gym while Pibs is at preschool but I have to work each of those days this week and next week. So that is really messing up my plan. But I MUST finish this, mainly because my friend Jill (and her hubs Bill) is coming to the Grand Canyon with us this year and she has finished watching all the episodes. We need to be able to talk about it, especially when we don't have In-n-Out in our mouths. Oh yes, that is so happening....yum. I shall leave you with this:

My first grader!

2011-09-06T16:43:00.003-05:00

Ethan had a great day! He hopped off the bus with a huge grin and lots of energy. I baked him homemade cookies (his request) which he gobbled down and then ran off to play with his buddy Zane. I haven't heard much about his day except that somehow his lunchbox was left behind in the classroom at lunch and he ended up in the lunch line. I was concerned that my child (who, as you may recall, was in food therapy for a year) went hungry but no! He had a chicken sandwich and some chips. He would NEVER eat that here. Perhaps my hopes and dreams of peer pressure will come true!

I did get a call from his teacher and I thought, this can't be a good sign for the year! But she was only calling to verify which bus he was supposed to be on. The bus company gave her the wrong information and he was apparently very insistent that she was wrong. Good for him!

Hopefully when things settle down later he will tell me a little bit more. But I am just so thrilled that he loves school!

It was a quiet day here with just Pibs and I. She is definitely a quieter kid, more so than I realized. I always feel like there is so much noise here but now I realize it was more Ethan than her.

All in all, a very good day. I feel at peace.

MMC update

2011-08-15T10:06:00.004-05:00

I'm 11 episodes in now. 41 to go in 44 days. This is going to be trickier than I had first thought!

Mad Men started out a little slow, I had a hard time getting into it. But now that I am coming up on the end of Season 1, I'm hooked. I still can't get over how much boozing and smoking goes on--did they just feel like garbage every day?

Even though it is a drama, there are definitely some funny moments. Like when Sally was running around with a plastic dry cleaning bag on her head--her mom warned her that the dry cleaning better not be in a pile on the floor but said nothing about the bag on her head.

And when Joan showed Peggy her desk? "Don't be overwhelmed by all this technology"--I think there was a phone and a typewriter. Ha!

Tribute to Sammy Gumbe written by my dad

2011-08-04T19:05:00.001-05:00

We lost the “Lion of Mozambique” yesterday. My heart is heavy with the loss. Sammy Gumbe was a good friend of mine. I spent 3 weeks with him in a van as we criss-crossed southern Africa last year. Sammy was terrific to travel with, so much energy, so much passion, such an incredible ability to communicate with anyone, and a great sense of humor.

I would see him up every morning around 4AM, reading his Bible, studying about the God he loved so much. Then he would go deep in prayer for his flock, his ministry, his dear wife and boys, for the country of Mozambique. Sammy was a Godly man, he was a man’s man, he was a friend, he was a strong leader and he greatly inspired me by his example.

Sammy was a man of God. He was a beloved Pastor to his Maputo church, and a beloved leader among Mozambican pastors for his work mentoring and teaching them. He had a great vision for the Sofala Bible Institute. Who can quantify the impact that his ministry has had on the Church in Mozambique?

Sammy loved his family almost as much as he loved God. He was a faithful and loving husband to the jewel of his life, Christine. He loved his boys equally as much. He was passionate about his family and talked about them with much love and pride. He was devoted to them in every respect.

Sammy was beloved here in the U.S. So many of us in Minnesota came to love this man. We loved it when he came in the winter so we could take him ice fishing or teach him to make angels in the snow. I am not so sure how much Sammy liked it, but he was always a good sport. He was able to connect with us just like he was able to connect in Africa. It was easy to see the Grace of God in his life.

He lived life with great passion, fun and focus. Sammy loved Jesus and wanted to live like Him. He loved people and he wanted them to know the transforming power of his King. He poured himself into everything he did with energy and passion. He was fun to be around.

It is very hard for me to understand why God would take someone like Sammy so early in life. One of my favorite hymns says,” I am not skilled to understand, What God hath willed, what God hath planned; I only know at His right hand, stands One who is my Savior.” We walk by faith and not by sight. So often, that seems cliché, but now it is the all I can do.
Goodbye Sammy. I know you are probably leading a Vision Conference in heaven. I love you.

Jim Louwsma

Sammy Gumbe

2011-08-04T10:29:00.003-05:00

Sammy Gumbe died last night. He is a friend from Mozambique. He ran a church called Restoration Mission that was doing great things for both God and Africa. He leaves behind an amazing wife in Christine and three small boys.

I had the pleasure of meeting Christine and Sammy a while back when they came to the States. Sammy was the kind of man who filled up a room and had great passion and energy for the work they were doing. Christine and I really connected and talked deeply for a few hours that evening. She even showed me how to tie a headscarf like an African!

Christine is a woman of unshakable faith, even in the midst of Sammy's health crisis (he had lymphoma). She is truly inspiring and amazing--when I read her Facebook posts I get chills.

Now she is a single mother of three small but growing boys. Please keep their family in your prayers. Sammy is cancer free in heaven but Christine has to deal with trying to keep moving forward now. Please pray for strength and healing for all of them.

My heart is broken for the Gumbe family. It's hard to understand why God would take such an amazing servant out of this world.

so awkward...

2011-08-03T10:53:00.002-05:00

The other person out there that always give my email address as hers is at it again. Now she has signed up for match.com and I'm getting all her matches in my inbox! I also got an email from match.com with her login and password. She is so lucky I am not the type of person to go in there and mess with her stuff! Imagine the fun that could be had at her expense.....

Moral of the story: Don't be an idiot. Giving the wrong email once is forgivable; giving it countless times is just plain stupid.

Big Event for Ethan!

2011-08-03T10:37:00.003-05:00

Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension airs on Friday night! Ethan is beside himself.

it's a mad, mad world...

2011-08-01T20:07:00.002-05:00

Mad Men is finally streaming on Netflix! I've been looking forward to this for quite some time. All I ever hear are rave reviews about it. I haven't allowed myself to watch it on TV because I really felt like I needed to start at the beginning.

I also thought I could tie a little challenge into my Mad Men viewing. There are a mere 58 days left until we hike the Grand Canyon. I have 51 episodes of Mad Men left. My goal is to watch all 51 episodes before we leave for the Grand Canyon. But lest you think this is just a lazy girl challenge, allow me to finish. The rule is that I can only watch Mad Men while exercising. Each episode is 48 minutes so if I can do that 51 times, I will be proud of myself!

I watched the first episode today while on the treadmill so I am already inching along to my goal! I will post regularly (imagine that!) for the next two months and let you know how my progress is going.

for all you AOL users...

2011-08-01T20:06:00.001-05:00

And by that I mainly mean my parents and Jay's parents! In the top left corner of the blog I've added a "Follow by email" box. Just type in your email address and submit and any new posts will magically show up in your email. Simple!

two months isn't that long, right?

2011-07-26T16:19:00.002-05:00

Wow! Two months have flown by. What to talk about? I feel like all I've really done this summer is swim. I'm pretty sure I haven't actually bathed my children at all since I count swimming as a bath. My tan is looking good and I'm not ashamed to say that it is actually from the sun, not a bottle. Although I do wear SPF...sometimes. Better about remembering it for my kids...sometimes.

We finally broke down and got a minivan! It wasn't too hard to convince ourselves, actually. I'd been longing for one (did I seriously just say that?) for a while but kept telling myself it wasn't a need, just a want. Then Honda sweetened up the deal with 0.9% financing and that is just what we needed to move. We got into an Odyssey to test drive it and the kids and I were sold in about 15 seconds. Each time we use it to carry friends around my heart melts. Seriously! I just feel overjoyed. I've got some issues, apparently.

Get thyself an iPad2. Jay and I decided to be ridiculous and use our tax return for two iPads. Although that sounds indulgent, it was really just a way to keep peace in our marriage. We both knew we would fight about who got to use it and since Jay travels quite a bit now, he would want to take it. So we got two! If we lose our house, then you can say "I told you so". I normally disagree with just about everything Queen Oprah says but I do agree with her that the iPad is THE COOLEST THING EVER. I do not regret the purchase for one second. I use it at the gym to watch movies, I have gotten really good at Angry Birds and I keep up with all my blog reading (not writing) on it. So fun. And a great way to entertain kids anywhere you need some help. Get one!

After four long years, I am finally not having diarrhea after every meal. TMI, sorry. But this is a big deal for me! I drink a magic powder every night and it takes care of the problem. Wish I had done this four years ago but whatever. My energy level has really improved and my joint pain is minimal. The gluten free diet doesn't need to happen anymore and for that I am thankful!

Our house is party central. All the neighborhood kids are here, all the time. I guess this is a good thing, right? At least, that is what I am told.

I am ready for school to start. I need Ethan out of my hair. But I know that once he is gone all day I will miss him like crazy. Funny how that works.

Okay, that is all the updating I can handle at the moment.

all clear!

2011-05-25T17:02:00.003-05:00

I had another colonoscopy today. Three years ago they found precancerous polyps which meant I needed another one now. The good news is I am all clear--the even better news is that now I get to wait five years for the next one!

There is a reason they usually wait until you turn 50 to do this, one of which must be that doing th prep while trying to be a mother is nearly impossible. I couldn't eat after midnight on Monday which meant that I was pretty much a waste of space on Tuesday. Thankfully, my dad and Debbie both came over to help me out once the all-out cleansing began. Seriously, you can't be more than three feet away from the bathroom or you will be sorry!

I was up most the night in the bathroom and so felt about the worst I've felt in a long time. But thankfully the procedure was quick and simple, the fetanyl was fun and I have no new polyps. My mom treated me to a delicious lunch at Panera and I have spent the afternoon in bed. Jay is doing a super job making sure I get to rest. Back to real life tomorrow!

More Coaching is on Facebook!

2011-04-26T18:07:00.002-05:00

We finally got a More Coaching page set up on Facebook---swing by and like us!

fiscally unsound

2011-04-14T09:28:00.002-05:00

When you discover that your spending is outpacing your earnings, what do you do? Do you demand a pay increase from your employer? Probably not. Most likely, you take a look at your spending and figure out what you can cut out. Sometimes it is easy stuff to cut; other times it make life a bit uncomfortable. But you do what you have to do in order to live within your means. Why can't our government leaders work the same way? They spend and spend and when they realize the money has run out they come to us asking/demanding more. If the government was a business, it would be shut down almost immediately due to mismanagement. It is so much easier to spend someone else's money than your own--think of a time when you've had dinner paid for by your company credit card. Instead of ordering the $12 salad you instead order the $30 steak. Easier to make those choices when it isn't coming out of your pocket. It doesn't help that there is almost no accountability to make good decisions with our money--I feel like we are viewed as a bottomless pit of money. Imagine if you could allocate your taxes much like you can do when donating to a charity. It would be so clear what is important to the people and where the bulk of spending should go. Or imagine if there was some sort of bonus for coming in under budget--how much smarter would our money be handled?

Purpose Prize

2011-03-21T09:37:00.003-05:00

Last week I heard an ad on the radio about the Purpose Prize, given to baby boomers in their encore career. I decided to nominate my dad--what he has done with his encore career inspires me every day. The winner of this prize gets $100,000 to use in their work. It is a long shot for sure but it was fun to put together so I'm sharing it here for you. Enjoy! :)

Relationship to Nominee:

Jim is my dad and my friend. I grew up knowing that my dad was a hard working, ethical man. He taught me to strive to do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. He helped me see how blessed I was and taught me the importance of thankfulness and giving back. He worked for Procter and Gamble for nearly 30 years and was fortunate to be able to retire at age 56. I wasn't sure what retirement would look like for a man of action like my dad--I just knew it wouldn't involve a golf course!

The Big Idea:

In 2004 Jim took a trip to Mozambique as part of an HIV/AIDS team. He immediately saw that poverty, driven by lack of economic opportunity was a key aspect to the spread of the disease. He had the great fortune to meet a Zimbabwean businessman by the name of Samuel Grottis who shared Jim's concern for the poor. Both men had the same idea--create economic opportunities for the people of Mozambique. The idea was to keep the young men home - currently many emigrate to South Africa to work in the mines, and to provide a way for the women to not only feed their children, but also the many AIDS orphans they in their care. Jim and Samuel incubated a business concept that became AfricaWorks, a fully registered, African owned, managed and led organization in 2007. That same year they purchased a Micro-Finance association that enabled them to provide loans and pay their infrastructure cost, making AfricaWorks self-sustaining. The mission of AfricaWorks is to create sustainable jobs for the poorest of the poor by providing loans and technical and managerial expertise to enable success. AfricaWorks offers a hand up, never a hand out. And once they offer the hand up, AfricaWorks endeavors to walk side by side. AfricaWorks focuses on developing small to medium size enterprises, primarily in the agricultural sector. They seek to transform the people they work with by providing microloans to traders, larger loans to entrepreneurs who want to grow chickens (mostly women), and even larger loans to farmer associations. When parents are able to adequately care for their family's basic needs they can then put energy into education and social change. To date, the Micro-Finance loan program has created nearly 5,000 trader jobs and impacted nearly 15,000 people; Poultry production has provided 216 jobs, impacting over 1,000 people and Farming (crop production) has provided jobs for 1,200 farmers and impacted over 6,000 people. The people in Mozambique that work with AfricaWorks are given an opportunity to bring change to their family and community that is sustainable and attainable. This enables the desperately poor to have hope and faith that their situation can change.

The Beginning:

Time to "retire, then refire!". In Africa, he could take his many years of business experience and work with people who were in desperate need to bring change to their situation. The Africans he worked with were like sponges, soaking up anything and everything a person could teach them. His passion for transformational leadership aligned perfectly with what was needed to bring systemic change to the impoverished in Africa.

The Impact:

Jim's work in Africa has transformed lives and created a framework for success. Over 21,000 people have been directly impacted by the loans and training they have been provided. African leaders are rising up and learning how to be transformative in their leadership and support of their communities. People who thought their lot in life was set in stone have been shown that they can help make the change needed to improve their situation. Clients who work with AfricaWorks are given training and support in addition to a loan to start their business. The work has expanded to Swaziland, and will be in Zimbabwe, Malawi and Zambia by the end of 2011.

The Future:

Jim shows no signs of slowing down! He will continue to visit Africa, usually taking investors with him so they can see firsthand the impact their work is having. He has been invited to teach Transformational Leadership in Zimbabwe. He will continue to network here at home and abroad to bring awareness to the work AfricaWorks and raise funds to expand its reach to the poorest of the poor.

Check out http://africaworks.org!

stupider than i was 20 minutes ago

2011-03-07T11:09:00.001-06:00

Have you ever listened to a podcast on string theory or quantum mechanics? I just did and my brain has melted.

Day 28: I love...

2011-03-01T15:27:00.001-06:00

I love internet banking. We recently switched to USAA for our banking. We've had our insurance through them forever and I'm not sure why it took us so long to do this. We can deposit checks right through our phones and I can use any ATM, no matter which kind--we get reimbursed up to $15 per month for fees. I also use their free bill pay service--it has revolutionized my grip on our finances!

Day 27: I love...

2011-03-01T12:39:00.002-06:00

I love living less than two miles away from the hospital! Today Olivia sprained her neck whilst jumping on her bed. Jay was home with her but didn't hear anything so we think she just landed funny on the bed rather than falling off. She wouldn't stop crying and didn't want to move. So we took her to the ER. She could still move her arms and legs but we didn't want to take a chance. After a CT scan and some Vicodin, she turned out to be fine. The Vicodin made her act funnier than usual and when the nurse came in she smiled and said "I like you...", it was cute. :)

She seems to be no worse for the wear, just has a sore neck. Thank the Lord.

Day 26: I love...

2011-02-26T21:30:00.003-06:00

I love that my head and neck have finally stopped hurting. I gave myself a mild concussion on Tuesday when I fell--it was bad. I've seen the chiropractor a few times and that really helped with the whiplash. But the headache just wouldn't shake until yesterday. Today I'm feeling much better and much more with it--I was just kind of spaced out before. Who knew you could hurt yourself so badly just falling down on the ground?

Day 25: I love...

2011-02-26T21:28:00.002-06:00

I love when Jay takes a PTO day! His PTO bank has filled up so he had to start using them. We went to Wildfire for lunch today for the tasty salad there. Pibs came with us and did a really good job. Then we walked around the mall for a while, got coffee, laughed at Pibs. It was a good time! As a stay at home mom, weekends don't mean much anymore except that I get help. So for me it was like a long weekend!

Day 24: I love....

2011-02-26T21:25:00.002-06:00

I love gel nail polish! I just tried this for the first time and am super happy with it. It goes on just like regular nail polish but you let it set under the lights. Then it becomes hard a rock and doesn't chip! I've had mine on now for 3 1/2 weeks and the only part that is coming off is at the top of my nail where it has grown. I will need to go in to get it soaked off but there won't be any damage to my nail (unlike with gel nails, where your entire nail bed is trashed for 6 months). Cost was $30, so quite a bit more than a regular manicure. But it has required no work from me and I haven't broken any nails off. Totally worth it!

New poll is up!

2011-02-24T18:45:00.001-06:00

How often do you run your dishwasher? I think we run ours 2-3 times per week. I am not an ecoterrorist but I do try to conserve where I can and somehow it feels like a waste to run a half empty dishwasher. So then I wash quite a bit of stuff by hand. But I am not sure that even makes sense because I probably use more water doing that than the dishwasher uses!

Day 23: I love...

2011-02-24T12:20:00.002-06:00

I discovered these at The Container Store yesterday and I don't know how I missed them before! I am using a few in my kitchen "command center" to organzie magazines, papers and all the stuff that needs to get organized. I'm going to use a few up in my craft room as well. They are on sale right now!

Day 22: I love...

2011-02-22T17:45:00.002-06:00

I love having a family (both immediate and extended) that cares about me!

Today I had a big fall while walking Ethan out to the bus stop. I landed flat on the back of my head. I thought I was going to pass out for a sec and was trying to figure out how to tell Ethan to help me. I laid on the ground for a few minutes (my clothes were soaked after this--not pleasant). Thankfully I didn't pass out and I wasn't bleeding so I got Ethan on the bus and headed home.

I called my mom and asked her to come down, which she did right away. Then I called Jay and asked him to come home, which he did right away. I laid in bed all afternoon with a headache and the start of whiplash ache. I am so thankful that I have people around to help me at times like this!

I called the nurse line and they told me what to watch out for. So far I am okay. But be careful! I walk out to the bus stop every day and have never fallen so you just never know when your feet will fail you.

Day 21: I love...

2011-02-21T11:04:00.002-06:00

I love jammie day! Today is a school holiday and since we are trapped inside, we are all still in our jammies and laying low. Our days are usually quite busy so a break from the pace is very welcome. The kids are having a great time playing together and I'm catching up on some podcasts.

On a related note, I am sure many kids across Minnesota are cursing their luck today. I think school probably would've been canceled (especially since it is STILL snowing!) but since it is President's day they miss out on a snow day. That always happens! Remember the Halloween Blizzard? That happened on a 4 day weekend.

Day 20: I love...

2011-02-21T11:02:00.002-06:00

I love driving in a snowstorm! Seriously, I do. I love the drama of it, the excitement, not knowing if I'll actually make it to my destination.

I decided today would be a good day to check out a new store up in SLP. I took Pibs with me and we had a snowy adventure. We made it there and back without issue. Then we went to the grocery store and nearly got blown away while trying to get back to the car.

Good thing I got the groceries yesterday--today I am trapped in my house! The plows finally came by around 10 and now the pile of snow at the end of our driveway is at least 3 feet. Jay will be busy this afternoon. :)

Day 19: I love...

2011-02-19T21:44:00.002-06:00

I love that my family wholeheartedly participated in Family Clean Up Day!

I don't mind being the cleaner in the house. I understand that it is my role as a stay at home mom to keep this place running. It is my office, after all. But no one likes a messy office, and I don't like having to constantly chase clutter to all ends of the house.

Today I made a list for Team Mom and Pibs and Team Dad and Ethan. We started in the basement and worked our way up to the top of the house. So much mess and clutter got cleared away today! It took about two hours of working (and dancing, and stopping for a snack) but we got it done. We didn't tackle things like the kitchen (I do that happily) or the master bedroom (that will require much more work). But the pile of junk sitting on the stair railing? Gone. The drawer in the kitchen full of odds and ends? Empty. It is a great feeling. We celebrated by going to Lion's Tap! Ethan got to pick our seat--he picked the high stools. And Pibs wore her (way too small) kitten costume. Yep, it was a good day. :)

P.S. One more thing I love--dinner with the Elliott's tonight! We had such a great time--thank you for a fun night!

Day 18: I love...

2011-02-18T23:12:00.002-06:00

Today I loved seeing my little man's face light up when he realized I was the "mystery reader" for his Kindergarten class! I had a great time. I read a book called Suddenly Alligator and then read a few poems out of Where The Sidewalk Ends. The kids were great listeners and kept coming up to me to tell me that they were one of Ethan's friends. It was fun to see him in action. He has said to me at least 10 times tonight that this was the best day ever. Ever. Got that? :)

Day 17: I love...

2011-02-17T16:14:00.001-06:00

I love kicking snow chunks into the street drain with Ethan. It has become our entertainment while we wait for the bus this week. With everything melting, there is lots to kick at! We really cleared off a big space today--it was pretty exciting! Next week we'll probably have to go back to huddling together against the wind but for now we kick! :)

Day 16: I love...

2011-02-16T20:44:00.002-06:00

I love my Honda! My car is seven years old now and aside from a few wear and tear issues with the seat covers, I have had zero issues with it. Many of you know that I was a die hard VW driver....that is, until I had to start paying for all those repairs myself! ;) Seriously, hardly a day went by when something wasn't falling apart on my Jetta. So we ditched the Germans and joined the Japanese. So glad we did it. I will be a Honda lover for life!

Day 15: I love...

2011-02-15T18:20:00.002-06:00

I love watching Teen Mom on MTV! I know, I am 33 and kind of outside the demographic. But it is my guilty pleasure and I love it! I got hooked on 16 and Pregnant and have kept watching the moms as they move on. I know some feel these shows glorify teen pregnancy but I really don't agree with that. If anything, I think they serve as fair warning to any person wanting to have a baby at a young age.

FYI, just so I don't get any phone call interventions, I only watch Teen Mom and I Used to Be Fat--no Jersey Shore, promise!!!

Day 14: I love...

2011-02-14T18:13:00.002-06:00

I love my Vibram Five Finger shoes! I've been wearing them since May and will never go back to sneakers. I know they are kinda ugly but my feet and legs feel better than they have in years! I wore them on my Grand Canyon hike this year--only got one blister instead of five and didn't lose any toenails. That is a victory my friends!

Day 13: I love...

2011-02-13T18:27:00.001-06:00

I love 37 degree days in February! I didn't even wear a coat today. The warm air felt like such a treat after last week.

Day 12: I love...

2011-02-13T18:26:00.002-06:00

I love weekend naps! Okay, I love naps at anytime but I especially love them on the weekends! I can actually enjoy the nap when Jay is around to handle the kids. It feels like a treat rather than a necessity of survival on the weekend somehow.

Day 11: I love...

2011-02-11T20:39:00.002-06:00

I love planning for Disney! We leave in 39 days and it is true that anticipation is half the fun! Right now Jay and I are sitting at the computer looking up rides and restaurants, trying to figure out what our kids would most enjoy doing. This trip is one of the highlights of our year and we feel so blessed to be able to take in this experience!

Day 10: I love...

2011-02-10T23:02:00.002-06:00

I love that when it is -2 degrees out, there is no road gunk spraying up on your windshield and there is no snow being tracked into the house!

Day 9: I love...

2011-02-09T20:01:00.002-06:00

I love a clean kitchen sink! All traces of food and other gunk gone, nothing but a shiny, sparkling white sink staring up at me. A wonderful start to the day.

Alas, mine is not clean at the moment. Maybe tomorrow?

Ethan's 2nd tooth....

2011-02-08T21:27:00.002-06:00

The pulling of Ethan's 2nd tooth. Don't worry, not gross. But watch for the Nintendo DS to make an appearance during this important milestone! :)

Day 8: I love...

2011-02-08T14:24:00.002-06:00

I love America! Last night Jimbo, Jake, Heidi and I had our first John Adams miniseries viewing. Apparently we are the only history buffs in the family. We watched the first two episodes in the HBO Miniseries and if there had been time we would've loved to watch them all at once!

The story of our country is quite amazing and the courage of our founding fathers is quite extraordinary. Sometimes the current state of politics can lead us to complain and talk about everything that is wrong. But when you compare it to what was happening in the American colony in the late 1700's you will quickly see that we have it pretty easy! These men got together and created a form of government unknown to them. They had the opportunity to dream big and that they did. It is remarkable that their ideas are still working over two hundred years later. No, it isn't perfect but it is better than anything I could come up with!

Go watch John Adams. It is extremely well done.

Day 7: I love....

2011-02-07T09:30:00.002-06:00

I love the Stuff You Missed In History Class podcast! It is one of my favorites. There is always something to learn about some obscure topic that they didn't touch on in school. It gives me at least a half hour to just zone out on my home life and listen to a story. Go find it in itunes!

Day 6: I love...

2011-02-07T09:28:00.002-06:00

I love using the bathroom ALONE! Those of you with small children can totally understand what I am talking about. For the past six years, my bathroom time has been a family affair. I have held crying children on my lap, broken up fights and answered innumerable questions while trying to do my business. In the past six months though, the door has been closed and I am alone! It is wonderful.

Day 5: I love...

2011-02-05T19:16:00.002-06:00

I love my witty family! We banter back and forth via email on a variety of topics. Past gems have included The Scent of a Leader, National Mulch Day, TWSS (That's What She Said), and many event planning emails that devolve into wisecracks.

Recently my dad sent an email with all the phrases found in the Bible that we now use in our everyday conversation. A few thoughtful emails went around and then we blew the lid off it. We spent today coming up with funny ways to incorporate our "Louwsma Speak" into bible verses. There were many good ones, such as:

-After wandering for 40 days in the desert, Jesus said, "I must rest as my dogs are barkin'. "
-When Jesus is asked if he is the Son of God he replies "I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin..."
-After betrayed by Judas Jesus says "Thou hast dog faced me"
-And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I have major dirt."

Then Jay took things to a whole new level with this gem. Jaws dropped, all were stunned. It is amazing. Louwsma Speak is in red.

Mathew 22:23-33 (NILDV - New International Louwsma Dictionary Version)

Marriage at the Resurrection

23 That same day the LSOP (Little Sadducees of the Poor), who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a querry. 24 “Bueno/que bueno, Teacher,” they said, “I have a memory cloth of Moses telling us that if a man isn't in shape he may as well just die without having pies, and his main man must marry the widow and raise up pies and grand pies for him. 25 Now there were didy nine, didy didy nine brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. 26 The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the didy nineth. 27 Finally, the woman died from being speewacked on the most scenic highway in Jerusalem. 28 Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the didy nine, since all of them were married to her and considered her the last of the good deals?”

29 Jesus thought, "Leaders gotta lead," and replied, “I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin', you are onfortunately frowed off and fused up because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. 30 At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage as that would be both crunkle junk and crinkle dink; instead they will be like the angels in heaven. 31 But about the resurrection of the dead—far be it from me to say have you not read what God said to you, 32 ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’[b]? He is not the God of the dead but of the living.”

33 When the crowds heard this, they were astonished at his teaching and realized they had got a learning on. And Jesus stated, "Booya."

Day 4: I love...

2011-02-04T17:24:00.002-06:00

I love having friends over for dinner! Tonight we have an old friend of mine coming over and I am so looking forward to catching up with her and her husband!

Day 3: I love...

2011-02-03T14:54:00.002-06:00

I love same day doctor appointments!

Olivia failed her vision and hearing tests yesterday at her Early Childhood Screening. I spent the evening worrying how I would keep glasses and hearing aids on a girl that refuses to wear her pants most of the time. I called our doctor this morning and was able to get in at 11 AM. She has an ear infection but other than that she is absolutely fine! All that worry for nothing.

Day 2: I love...

2011-02-02T13:02:00.002-06:00

I love my gym membership! No matter how tight our budget gets, I refuse to give it up. I get two hours of childcare a day there and on days like today, having that time away from the kids is needed. And during the summer it gives us a great pool to hang out at with our friends!

Day 1: I love....

2011-02-01T11:14:00.002-06:00

For the month of February I am going to post one thing I love each day.

I love my FUGGS! (my fake Uggs) I wear them everywhere in the winter. I don't have to wear socks because the insides are really fuzzy and my feet stay nice and toasty. I can stomp through the snow with Ethan without worrying about my feet getting cold.

gluten free for 32 days!

2011-02-01T10:51:00.002-06:00

On January 1 I decided to stop eating gluten. I wanted to see if I had an allergy or intolerance to it. I have been struggling with my weight since I had Pibs despite trying all kinds of diets and doing regular exercise. I have spent an astonishing amount of money on trying to get my old body back to no avail. Food allergies can accompany gallbladder issues and this struggle began when my gallbladder went bad. I also had mystery inflammation after the gallbladder removal that they thought was either RA or Lupus but turned out to be neither. They never bothered to find out where it was coming from--maybe a gluten intolerance?

So I decided to stop eating gluten. I skipped the blood test because I am completely frustrated with doctors who refuse to listen to me or try to help me. They just told me to eat less and move more. And when I said that wasn't working they thought I was lying.

The first two weeks were the worst. Seriously, my body craves carbs like nothing else! But I stuck to it pretty closely. There were a few times when I just decided to eat the gluten despite the consequences. But the further I get down this gluten free path, the worse the payback when I do eat gluten!

After the first three days, I noticed a MAJOR mood change. I felt like this fog that has been over me for the past four years lifted. I started to really enjoy my kids for the first time in a long time. I started to parent creatively again instead of just going through the motions. I always felt so beat and exhausted that I could do the bare minimum but that was it. I used to take at least 6 Advil a day--I've taken 2 in the last 32 days. My body just doesn't hurt the way it used to.

So now when I do eat the gluten, I know that I will hardly be able to walk the next morning due to the pain that shows up in my ankles. I know that my brain will feel fuzzy and I will feel so tired. I know that my tolerance for children will be diminished. It is to the point now where those feelings are starting to outweigh my desire for pizza! Never thought that would happen.

My food cravings have all but disappeared. I eat almost no processed food anymore. My one indulgence is gluten free tortilla chips--they are so tasty!! I eat a lot of fruit and veggies, nuts, chicken, brown rice, quinoa and greek yogurt. I haven't really tried to replace the gluten filled items with gluten free ones. I do have a loaf of gluten free bread but it really only tastes good when it is toasted so I save it for the panini press. Plus, it is $5 for a very small loaf so I try to make it last!

I've read some criticism of eating gluten free. I think that if you just replace gluten crackers with gluten free crackers or eat gluten free brownies, you really aren't catching the point of this. I am doing this because it makes me feel so much better and I realize I don't need all those empty carbs that come with gluten. I'm trying to eat as little processed foods as possible instead of eating gluten free processed foods.

I didn't have to worry about any of this until I was pregnant with Pibs--I've never had a food allergy before. But even if I did a blood test and it showed no allergy I would continue eating this way because I think the way I feel now is totally worth. Never discount the power of food to heal your body!

And the best part? (TMI alert) I haven't had diarrhea since I started! That is the longest I have gone without it since I had Pibs!

good read

2011-01-29T21:43:00.003-06:00

I'm looking for a good book. I've read a couple of stinkers lately and am getting frustrated. Clearly the book recommendations in People magazine are not for me!

I am currently working my way through Gone with the Wind and plan to read George Bush's book when I can wrestle the Kindle away from Jay. :)

Got any recommendations for me? I don't like overly sad books and I can't handle the kidnapping or killing of children. The Lovely Bones disturbed me for months. And I can't stand books about self-absorbed New England/New York women. Just my opinion.

So if you have a book you are in love with, tell me!

zumba!!!!

2011-01-21T12:32:00.002-06:00

Okay, we've all seen the slightly cheesy Zumba infomercials on TV. It seemed to be another one of those gimmicky fitness products.

Well, I was wrong!!! My friend Jodi invited me to join her last night at Lifetime for a Zumba class. I had THE BEST time. Seriously! I told the instructor after class that it was the most fun I've had in a while.

I was very aware of the fact that I am a Midwestern, suburban white girl but surprisingly, it didn't really matter. Everyone was just trying to keep up--there wasn't any time to worry about what you looked like. Plus, I looked awesome in my head! :)

I will definitely be doing it again--anyone care to join me?

guest post from Jimbo

2011-01-20T15:50:00.002-06:00

My dad sent this email back in 2003 about a traumatic event that occurred while on a walk one night. I had it posted on my cube wall and would crack up everytime I looked at it. Enjoy!

**Editor's Note: Waz is my mom!

Fam--bear with me as I work through my trauma. Last night I was walking around Staring Lake. Although it was late, the moon cast some light on the trail.

Deep in the south section, amongst the dense forest of that part, in the area I always suspect someone is lurking to attack me, all of a sudden something clobbers me on the top of my head, knocking my hat off!

Being the warrior that I am, I am spring loaded to the defense position. I look up and see a large hawk or owl flying off into the night. I continue to walk, wondering if the bird flew into me by accident. Seconds later, with my hat still off, I feel razor like talons tearing into my unprotected scalp--I am under attack! I look up and see the same bird alight in a tree nearby. Now I am incensed. I try to find a rock to throw at it. This is war! The owl (I think) flies off, no doubt preparing for another attack.

I put my hat back on my ravaged head, pull the arms of my coat over my ungloved hands so I can slug the beast, should it attack again, without endangering my hands. I walk the next half mile with my head on a swivel, looking forwards and backwards, waiting for the coward to attempt another attack. None comes.

As the adrenaline begins to slow, I realize how close I came to potential death or serious injury. Trauma starts to set in. I call Waz who is at quilting. She comforts me. When Waz gets home, she checks out my wounded head. She says she can see some "faint" scratches but can't verify an owl attack.

Whether Waz can verify it or not, I know I was under severe attack out there in the wilderness and I survived it because I am a Louwsma! Today I am going to buy an inexpensive football helment and paint "I am not a mouse!" on the top and wear it on future walks.

Love, YerDad and HB

The boy

2011-01-13T14:50:00.002-06:00

Ethan lost his first tooth last Thursday! I took the kids swimming since Jay was working late. Ethan asked me to catch him when he jumped off the edge but I thought it would be funny to move away at the last second, which of course I did. He popped up out of the water screaming with a tooth sitting on his tongue! He was bleeding a little and kind of freaked out so we got a towel and got the blood off him. Some little girl came running up and kept saying "Hey, you are BLEEDING!!!" over and over--where were her parents? She was not helping the situation. Once the shock wore off he got kind of excited. And when I sent out a text about it and then posted it to Facebook he was super excited. He felt really special.

The tooth next to it is super loose now and might make an exit tonight. I am NOT pulling it but Jay will if it seems ready. He is having a hard time eating and is ready for it to be gone.

Speaking of eating, he is most definitely going through a growth spurt. He is always hungry and is putting away more food than I've ever seen him eat. He had three pieces of french toast the other day and was still hungry! Kind of feels like a preview of the teenage years. We are back in food therapy to make sure that the bottomless food pit includes some healthy options. :)

Ethan and I have been working on developing a positive attitude for 2011. We call it the PA and have a little handshake for it. It has made the biggest difference in our day! He wakes up trying to find things to be happy about instead of complaining about everything. He is more helpful around the house and is just so much more fun to be around. This had been a problem for a long time but I had never tried to join forces with him on it before. That seems to have made the difference.

One more thing about my boy....he is so affectionate. He still holds my hand, gives me a hug and kiss when the bus pulls up and wants a snuggle before bed. I know this probably won't last much longer and I have become painfully aware of that lately. He is just growing way too fast. Which is exciting but still, it has only been six years!

Looking for input

2011-01-13T14:43:00.002-06:00

Next week I will be doing a brief talk at a MOPS meeting about being fashionably thrifty. I don't know why I was chosen but it sounded like fun so I said yes!

I need to talk about how to look nice and still work within a budget. I have some ideas but I wanted to see if any of you have any great tips on places to shop, time of week/month/year to shop for the best deals, items that you can't live without, etc. You get the picture!

I'm a little nervous because I don't consider myself stylish--I feel that I am more eclectic and tend to pick things that I like individually so that in turn forces me to be eclectic. There are a lot of gorgeous, super well-dressed ladies at MOPS so hopefully they don't roll their eyes at my ideas of a bargain! :)

So give me any tips you can, I appreciate it!

wiggle it

2011-01-05T17:51:00.002-06:00

Ethan has his first loose tooth! It isn't ready to go yet but the wiggle has started. The strange thing is that the new tooth is already growing in rather far behind it. Is that normal and I just don't know it? He might have my teeth--better start saving for braces!!!

I am completely grossed out by loose teeth and kind of freaked out when I saw his tooth, which in turn made my prone-to-anxiety child freak out. I really had to do a lot of raving about how cool and exciting it was to make up for it. He is good for now but my guess is that pulling teeth will not be a fun thing in our house. Jay is in charge of that business.

I can't believe we are in the loose teeth phase. This time in my life is flying by although some days it feels interminable.

P.S. I can't believe I haven't blogged since November 7. What the crap?

the best thing i've ever won

2010-11-07T16:04:00.004-06:00

Last Christmas I attended an open house at a place called Elements Theraputic Massage. They offer a massage membership where you get one 55 minute massage a month at the reasonable rate of $59. You can also buy more massages at that discounted rate. If you don't use it one month, it carries over to the next.

Anyway, I entered a drawing and ended up winning a year's worth of monthly massages! That's right--every month since last December (except for two that I missed--boo hoo) I go in for 55 minutes of bliss. There are a number of therapists there--you can move around and find the best one for you.

I have loved every minute of it and am so sad that my year is coming to an end. If you have the financial means, I highly recommend signing up for a membership! The massage is way better than any I've received at a salon and the price is much lower as well.

Here is their website: touchofelements.com. They are located in Eden Prairie, off 169 and Pioneer Trail.

a plum deal

2010-11-07T16:00:00.001-06:00

Go to plumdistrict.com in the next 7 hours and sign up for online cooking school! I signed up and am super excited. I unfortunately lack the most basic of skills--how to cook chicken, how to saute veggies, how to bake bread. I am looking forward to trying this out. $50 for a whole year's worth of access to the content!

for sale!

2010-11-07T15:39:00.002-06:00

I am selling a pair of Skechers Shape-ups. I wore them just a few times on the treadmill--they look brand new! They are size 9, colors are gray and pink. I joined the barefoot revolution (more on that later) and no longer need these. I'm asking for $50 which is over half off! They retail for $109 right now. Could be a good Christmas gift for someone?

job description of a mom

2010-10-29T18:14:00.002-05:00

I heard this at MOPS this past week and thought it was fitting! :)

Position: Mom, Mommy, Ma

Duration of Position: The rest of your life!

Job Description: Long term players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

Responsibilities: Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf (this time). Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an embarrassment the next. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap plastic toys and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but always be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout facility.

Possibility for Advancement & Promotion: None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills so that those in your charge will ultimately surpass you.

Previous Experience: None required. On the job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

Wages & Compensation: You pay them and offer them raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 with the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

Benefits: No health or dental insurance, pension, tuition reimbursement, paid holidays or stock options are offered. However, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, free hugs and kisses for life. It is one of the most rewarding things you will ever do and is an investment in eternity!

it's not me, it's you

2010-10-19T19:11:00.002-05:00

Do you get frustrated by the crappy drivers out there? Some days I can ignore it pretty well but other days make me seethe. But of course, I am never a crappy driver--right? ;)

I'm pretty sure that isn't true but I do try to follow the rules most of the time (except that irritating speed limit one). Today I nearly got broadsided by a guy who decided it was his turn to go (it wasn't). I put my hand up as he drove past to say "Dude, seriously?" (no, my middle finger was NOT extended). The silverhaired gentleman did the same to me as he roared past. Which then of course makes me wonder why he seemed to think he had the right of way. Maybe he knew he didn't and figured he could intimidate me into not going. It worked.

Everyday I make a vow to myself as I head out in my car--I vow to just ignore the stupid people around me and not take it personally. It has yet to actually work but it is a good start, right?

sweat condition nine

2010-09-20T19:05:00.002-05:00

Louwsma dictionary entries of the day!

1. sweat condition nine: to panic; feel pressure

Jimbo (a.k.a. Chicken Little) was in sweat condition nine when he realized he only had seven days to drive to the Grand Canyon! Lucky for him, it only takes two days. :)

2. If you're not in shape, you might as well just die: a statement regarding the importance of maintaining physical fitness

"Boneheads, I tell you what, if you can't do whatever you want to do anytime you want to do it, you might as well just die", Jimbo exclaimed.

3. Most Scenic Highway in America: description of any highway in America that may or may not be scenic

On many childhood road trips, Jimbo would holler to us kids to sit up and look around at The Most Scenic Highway in America we were currently driving on. I just wanted to get back to my Walkman. :)

bite me?

2010-09-20T19:02:00.002-05:00

Is it possible to become immune to the itchy bite of the mosquito? I used to get chewed alive every summer and itch like crazy. However, I've noticed in the last few years that although they land on me and bite me, I never actually get any itchy bites. What's up with that? Alas, my poor children are not so lucky. I had to reassure people a few weeks ago that Olivia was just bit up, not suffering from chicken pox!

phrase of the day: even a blind squirrel finds a nut

2010-09-11T21:33:00.003-05:00

A few years ago, Emily and JT created a Louwsma Dictionary to capture all the words and phrases our family uses. I still laugh as I read it, not just for the content but at the descriptions used. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut: lucky; to discount one's achievement and to attribute it to good fortune.

a surefire way to kill your appetite

2010-08-26T12:26:00.002-05:00

For a special treat today, I took the kids to Applebee's for lunch. It was mostly because I had coupons for two free kids meals and being waited on sounded like fun to me.

It didn't go as well as I had hoped. First, the table we were at had a big poster of The Wizard of Oz over it--I love that movie but Pibs was not a fan of the poster. She just kept staring at it and shrinking away. The Wicked Witch of the West is not her cup of tea.

Then, right as the server was setting our food down, we heard a huge crash! Turns out an elderly woman had driven into the side of the building. She was trying to park and my guess is she stepped on the gas instead of the brake. She cleared one of those cement bumpers, the curb, plowed down a sign and damaged the outside of the building. All without any visible damage to her car.

The driver had her seat belt on and if she had been alone, it would have just been a very embarrassing situation. Unfortunately, the passenger did not have her seat belt on and went nearly all the way through the windshield. The hostess flipped out (understandably) and called 911. The manager started running around with towels and whatnot and a few diners ran outside to help. The police and ambulance showed up quickly and got the passenger out of the car and to the hospital. The tow truck came and dragged the car out of its resting place. Aside from the damage to the building, you wouldn't know it happened.

But unfortunately, I looked at it as we were walking out. The windshield was bloody and there was a perfect circle popped out of it, exactly the size of a head. Yikes. If that is what can happen in a low speed accident, imagine if the car had been driving down the highway! I cannot fathom why people would not wear their seat belt.

Needless to say, I brought two kids meals home with me. The kids didn't even take a bite of their food--they were way too distracted by all the commotion to eat. I hope that passenger is okay.

to ink or not to ink?

2010-08-22T18:23:00.003-05:00

I have tossed the idea of getting a small tattoo around for quite some time. A few years ago, I was almost ready to pull the trigger but didn't. Now I am thinking of it again. Do you have a tattoo? Are you happy about it or regretful?

I'm thinking of getting something very small on the top of my foot, right by where flipflop straps would be. Maybe my kids names, birthdays or maybe a Jesus fish. I don't want to just get something for the sake of getting something--I want it to mean something, you know?

Tell me your tattoo stories!

P.S. I almost got my nose pierced a few years ago and still wish I had gone through with it. Maybe when I turn 35! :)

itunes users, beware!

2010-07-14T16:25:00.003-05:00

iTunes got hacked and our information was likely some that was taken. We have over $6,000 in fraudulent charges on our credit card that is now being dealt with. A salesperson from a store in Las Vegas called OUR HOME NUMBER this afternoon to see if an order with our name, address and phone number on it was legit. I am so irritated and freaked out right now! How creepy is this?

this photo is not staged

2010-07-14T09:01:00.003-05:00

This is what I found when I went in to check on Pibs last night:

day one of a schedule

2010-07-12T21:58:00.002-05:00

Yes, I have been a stay at home mom for almost 6 years now and am just now trying a daily schedule. Last week I had a raincloud over my head all week about being a mom and I was just miserable. After I got tired of feeling angry and chaotic all the time I hit google for some help.

I found a GREAT blog (http://blog.wantingwhatyouhave.com/)--it is full of great organization info and very well-written. It has tons of other great stuff--I highly recommend you check it out.

Anyway, being an inconsistent and unscheduled person, I took a stab at a daily schedule. Today was our first day trying it out and I must say, it was a success! We certainly didn't keep to it perfectly but it gave us a guideline for the day. I think it was better for the kids to know what to expect and it kept me focused on what I need to be doing. I didn't have to do as much disciplining as usual and Ethan didn't complain nearly as much.

I posted a copy of the schedule in the kitchen so that Jay knows the plan as well. It is helpful because I am often working in the evenings so he has to go it alone.

Here it is, in case you want to make one of your own!

Daily Schedule
8:00 Everybody up! Get dressed and brush teeth.
8:15 Breakfast at counter
9:00 Leave for gym
11:00 Home from gym
11:15 Mom makes lunch
11:30 Lunch at table
12:00 Play time in basement
1:00 Quiet time
2:30 1:1 with Ethan
3:00 Wake up Pibs, have snack
4:00 Tidy up main floor
4:30 Mom makes dinner
5:00 Dinner at table
5:30 Mom cleans up kitchen
6:00 Play time outside or in basement
7:45 Snack at counter
8:00 Brush teeth, put on jammies, read books
8:30 Lights out!

a night in the life of pibs

2010-07-12T21:53:00.002-05:00

Jay and I play a game each night called "Where will we find Pibs tonight?". I've found her under her bed several times, on her changing table and lately, she loves her closet.

She clears everything out (which is a whole other issue), brings her blankets, bear and water cup and closes the doors. It gets super hot but that doesn't seem to bother her.

We used to move her back into her bed but that kicked off several nights of 2 AM party time. Now we just leave her where she lies--like a golf ball! :)

The other problem was the mess she made for us to clean up every day. So now all this stuff is in piles in the hallway, which is a temporary but very effective solution. :)

loss of imagination is tragic at age 5

2010-07-07T19:59:00.002-05:00

We have a bit of a problem in our house. It's a result of too much TV/movies/Wii/etc. Ethan has forgotten how to play and use his imagination and as you can imagine, I am sinking under the weight of the guilt. I know this is mostly my fault--being at home all day with a highly curious and talkative kid wears me down and many times it is easier to just point him to the nearest electronic. It also doesn't help that now I have two crazy kids trying to kill each other all day and said electronics really lower the intensity level of life.

He just had a gigantic meltdown due to never getting what he wants (HA!) so I have taken all electronics away. Now I'm screwed because I don't know what to do all day. Help me readers!

What do you do with your kids? Do you play with them all day? Do you provide activities for them and let them loose? I admit, I am not much of a playing mom. I don't enjoy it and I'm not good at it. I will read to you and do crafts and you can always count on me to get my hair wet at the pool but I will not build legos with you and I will not play cars. So where does this leave me?

The irony of all this is that I regularly watch TV while using the computer. I am just as guilty of overusing electronics as Ethan is. I told him that I would try to cut way down on my consumption as well, that we could do it together. That seemed to help a little.

BTW, we have a finished basement full of toys and that is still not enticing enough for them to play. They much prefer to be within a two foot radius of me all day and it is making me bananas! I need to get this playing situation ironed out so I can restore order in this house!

it's just dreadful

2010-06-09T12:28:00.003-05:00

I have a summer cold. For some reason, summer colds are so much worse than winter colds. Why is that? The coughing is by far the worst part. I wouldn't mind the stuffiness and lethargy so much if I wasn't wetting my pants every five seconds from coughing. That's one of the things they don't make clear to you about having kids. I have apologized to my mom for ridiculing her for this very problem before I had kids. :)

I have spent the majority of this morning in bed. Ethan is at Gummie's house and Pibs is spending quality time with PBS Kids. I need to get better because we are going camping this weekend and if I don't quit coughing so much they will kick me out of the campground!

On a unrelated note, I am starting to feel harassed by the other Rachel Olsons out there. From what I can tell, there are at least three that apparently can't remember their email address and just put mine down. Ladies, I have had this address for 8 years! It is 2010--getting your email address wrong is unacceptable. We've all been doing this email thing for a while now. I get job application confirmations, library overdue notices, invitations to join Facebook to look at pictures, online purchase confirmations and of course, the very personal family emails about Grandpa's surgery and how cute little Pookie is. All this is annoying but bearable. However, my nemisis(es?) have upped the ante. Now I am getting tons of unsolicted ad emails. All of them are addressed to rachel.olson@gmail.com which no one would use to get a hold of me. I have created a filter in gmail to try to prevent these from even coming to my inbox so we'll see how it goes. I have tried to contact the correct person many times--they either don't get my messages or don't care. So I'm done. All their crap is getting deleted and it can be their problem figuring out why they didn't get their mail. I am not the Postmaster General of gmail! But seriously, do you think it is crazy that a person would give the wrong email address out multiple times? Wouldn't they eventually figure out that they got it wrong and try to correct it? Especially when applying for a job? It befuddles me.

a little kindness please (bee careful!)

2010-05-25T21:02:00.002-05:00

You probably read about that huge accident yesterday involving a bee truck. 2 women lost their lives. One was a 24 year old Bethel employee who was expecting her first child. Though they haven't released all the details of the accident, it seems clear that the 2 women (in different cars) were hit from behind by another truck and were crushed. A moment of inattention has changed 3 lives forever.

This was on my mind all day as I drove around town. The truth is, people on the roads are crazy. I am guilty of being one of them from time to time, I admit. I nearly got sideswiped by a guy this morning who changed lanes in front of me with no blinker--I had to hit the brakes to keep from being hit. Of course he had his Bluetooth shoved into his ear so he probably didn't think to see if anyone was next to him before moving over.

I too can be a crazy person on the road. I've had many moments I'm not proud of but of course I usually feel like I had a good reason for doing whatever I did. But I still am embarrassed by my behavior later. Is it the anonimity of the road that makes it easy for us to drive crazy?

Bottom line--pay attention out there. Most people don't seem to have a clue how their driving behavior affects the people around them. If we would all keep in mind the fact that we need to be aware of our situation at all times, this world would have less accidents. I have been hit 3 times in the past 5 years, all by drivers just not paying attention. That is 3 times too many.

And for the love, GET OFF YOUR PHONE!!!!!!

Anabela's Story

2010-05-21T15:18:00.001-05:00

Jimbo is home, safe and sound!

Watch this video of one woman's story of how AfricaWorks has changed her life!

odds and ends

2010-05-12T20:17:00.002-05:00

What happened to spring? Is weather confusion a sign of climate change?

Not much happening in the Olson house these days. Here are a few highlights:

-Olivia tried to eat a dog biscuit intended for our friends dog. Thankfully Andrew stepped in and kept that item off the list of gross things she has eaten.

-I overslept yesterday but that is not what is interesting about this story. Usually I am on the road to preschool around 8:30 but yesterday we got a later start. Turns out there was a police shooting around 8:30 at the on ramp to the highway---right where I would usually be if I hadn't overslept! Some guy robbed something, carjacked a lady and then stabbed a lady and then got killed by the police right here in my lovely town. Crazy! Not that anything would've happened to us but I definitely wouldn't have wanted my kids to see it go down. I did see the body covered with a sheet on my way back home but didn't bother mentioning this to the kids.

-Olivia and I have really hit our stride as mom and daughter. It started with a mani/pedi while the boys were at a baseball game. Anyone that talks to me regularly knows that Olivia is a delightful yet challenging child. I think I might have figured her out, at least for now. She just wants more one-on-one attention than I was giving her and she doesn't respond to me raising my voice. Now I challenge her to do stuff like, "Bet you can't get those shoes on all by yourself" and then give her tons of praise and high-fives (which she ADORES for some reason). I haven't had to yell at her at all for the last two weeks. I'm happier and I think she is too.

-I got new sneakers and they feel like heaven!

-I conducted a brief experiment with gel nails. Too fancy for me so I got them off after about a month. I am amazed at how wrecked my natural nails are after such a short time! Hopefully they grow back to what they were like before--I used to have to use toenail clippers because they were so thick. Not so right now.

-I am planning to hike the Grand Canyon again in September! Two years ago I hiked it and it darn near beat me so last year I performed the role of hiker wrangler, which was a ton of fun. But this year I've decided to try the hike again; however, I intend to actually prepare for it this time. Maybe by training I will actually be able to walk the day after--anyone care to place a bet? :)

i feel like i got away with something

2010-05-04T21:30:00.002-05:00

On my way home from dropping Ethan off at preschool, my gas light came on. I noted that the price at the station by my house was $2.84 per gallon and decided to just stop on my way back out later.

90 minutes later, I drive to the gas station and was devastated to see the price has jumped to $2.95! In 90 minutes!!! I cursed myself for being lazy but needed gas.

When I pulled up to the pump though, the price was still listed as $2.84. I hustled to get that tank filled up before they figured out their mistake and charged me more.

All that hurry was for nothing though--I asked inside and the clerk said they change the big sign first and 20 minutes later they change the pump sign.

When this happened, I really felt cool. But now it just sounds lame. :)

one little word makes all the difference

2010-05-02T15:47:00.002-05:00

Have you noticed that whenever the media reports on "immigration", they always leave the word "illegal" out? It has been driving Jay and I crazy. I have no problem with immigration--I do have a problem with illegal immigration, and I have no shame in admitting that. We have channels for legal immigration and if a person chooses to instead cross the border illegally, they have to deal with the consequences of that. But usually you hear illegal immigration lumped in with legal immigration and frankly, that isn't fair to the folks that decided to follow the rules when entering this country.

When you are here illegally, chances are you aren't paying taxes, carrying health insurance or driving with a valid license. How is that fair? Why should we rally for these people? I get that they leave their home country for good reasons but how does that make it okay for them to be here illegally? I was watching footage of one of the rallies that took place yesterday and the one sign said "Stop tearing families apart". I just hate that--the ploy of making you feel like a terrible person for just expecting that immigrants are held to the same standards you are.

We are not the only country that doesn't allow people to just flow in and out of the country. This is why there are passports, work visas, travel visas, etc. But for some reason we are expected to just allow people to flout our laws and then make us look like we are the ones doing something wrong. And unfortunately, it seems like we are starting to believe it.

safe travels

2010-04-27T09:38:00.002-05:00

Jimbo (my dad) leaves today for a few weeks in Africa. He will get the opportunity to travel to Mozambique as well as several other countries. He'll get to see what is happening on the ground with AfricaWorks for the first time since 2008. Please pray for safe travel and personal safety as he visits some not-so-safe areas. Can't wait to hear the news he will bring back!

this pretty much sums it up

2010-04-25T21:19:00.003-05:00

This is Olivia. I love her very much but right now she is a very difficult child to be around. This picture captures Olivia perfectly. She is in her jammie shorts (always in shorts, have given up this fight) and snow boots. Her choice, not mine obviously. And she is about to give her friend Cole a beat down. His offense? Nothing more than just being in her territory.

She can be so sweet and fun but can also be completely crazy and emotional. I'm really starting to see how different boys and girls are. Ethan had his issues too but it was pretty straightforward as to how to deal with them. I always knew his currency and was able to deal with behavior issues by taking his favorite toys away from him, and usually only had to do it once. Olivia is a totally different bird. She doesn't seem to learn, discipline and punishment mean nothing to her. The only thing she loves is her blanket and bear but I never take comfort items away--that just seems mean. I think I need to read that strong willed child book. I thought Ethan was strong willed but he's got nothing on her!

attention makeup junkies....

2010-04-12T19:48:00.001-05:00

If you could splurge on a lipstick from a beauty counter (not Target type stuff), what would you get? Brand, color, etc?

bewilderment

2010-03-25T17:37:00.003-05:00

What the H. Lee Mackrel is going on with this healthcare business? I am so befuddled by the whole thing, I give up! No one ever gives details in their reports on how this will affect the healthcare consumers. What a huge waster of time this whole thing is!

time to go digital...maybe

2010-03-13T09:55:00.002-06:00

Has anyone ever tried digital scrapbooking? I'm looking into the idea and would like to know if you've heard good things about a particular software. I just can't keep up with my life in pictures and need to figure out a solution.

don't make me orange

2010-02-22T21:33:00.000-06:00

Has anyone ever tried spray tanning at a tanning place? I'm thinking of doing it before we leave on Friday but am a little nervous that I will look like a streaky mess. Let me know if you have tips or caution for me!

go ahead, be a tiger

2010-02-20T18:18:00.003-06:00

Back when I worked at Accenture, they joyfully unveiled their new ads with Tiger Woods that told us to "Go ahead, be a Tiger". If only they knew what that would entail!

I watched La Tigre apologize yesterday. He seemed heavily medicated to me. I can't say if it was sincere or not but I'm sure it takes an enormous amount of contrition (or pressure by managers) to get up in front of everyone and come clean.

I was watching "The News" (on E! of course) and Tiger's lady loves are apparently enraged that he didn't include them in his apology. Huh? Aren't these the ladies that entered into a relationship with a married man, knowing full well that he was taken? Why is it, exactly, that he owes them anything at all? Wouldn't it make more sense that they owe his family an apology for helping wreak havoc on their lives? For being a part of the problem?

I have heard them say that they were taken advantage of, were dazzled by his fame. Yeah, cry me a river. Are you or are you not still in control of your choices, even when confronted by a celebrity? Him being famous and possibly having some sort of addiction problem does not excuse deciding to have an affair with him. I don't know that they are to blame for this--if it wasn't them it would've been other women, but I don't think they deserve anything at all. They chose to get interviewed by the tabloids and sell the dirty details for some cash. They have made a bad situation much worse by making sure that his children will someday be able to Google their dad and learn all his kinky sex habits. I think these ladies have realized that they are now the bad guys in this situation and are trying to right their sinking ship. Good riddance to them all. Maybe they will think twice next time they decide to have an affair with a married man.

What do you think about this? Can you tell I have little patience for infidelity?

need a referral

2010-02-17T20:58:00.002-06:00

Okay, so I sucked it up and scheduled an occupational therapy evaluation for Ethan and his food issues. I felt very good about my decision until I found out how much it is going to cost. Right now he is scheduled at Capable Kids but I need to do some research to see if there are lower price options out there. Our new insurance completely sucks so the amount we have to pay per visit is staggering.

If you have any leads for me, please let me know!

my lead foot?

2010-01-31T22:02:00.002-06:00

I got pulled over last night for speeding for the first time in my 16 years of driving! It was about 1 AM; I was coming home from a Scrap n' Crap with Shelly. I was going exactly the speed limit when I was stopped so when the officer asked if I knew why he pulled me over I honestly didn't know. Apparently he clocked me going 56 in a 40! Yikes! I never drive that fast--I thought I was in a 50. He started out being the "tough cop" but quickly became friendly when he realized I hadn't been out at the bars. He let me off without a warning and told me he was looking for something bigger anyway. Then we chatted about my Cricut (scrap tool) and how his fiancee is making him help her make 200 wedding invitations.

This was not how I expected my first stop to go. I am so happy he decided not to ticket me but I am horrified I was paying so little attention to the speed limit! Perhaps my car paid me back for my recklessness because as I pulled away, the tiny crack in my windshield from a rock turned into a huge splinter running the entire width of my windshield.

Have you ever been stopped? Is your experience similar?

olivia may be a compulsive hoarder

2010-01-12T19:40:00.002-06:00

Today she pulled out two tubes of lip gloss, a battery and a toy car out of her leggings. Not her pockets--her actual leggings. Some of it was down around her ankles. The other day I found a thimble in her pocket that she swiped from my sister's house. And when you look around our house, you'll see evidence of her collections. Baskets full of odds and ends, buckets full of the stuff from my junk drawer, a shopping cart full of treasures in her eye. It is really quite funny and makes me laugh. She totes them around the house like they are the most special things she's found.

I think Ethan's nickname of Beba has been retired. Olivia has been calling him that since she started talking and within the last few days, she will only say Ethan. It makes me a little sad but Ethan is happy--he never liked the name. She is growing up!

my friend, the big winner

2010-01-11T18:26:00.001-06:00

BTW--Shannon (Brenda) Daugherty won the cooking contest on Fox 9! Actually, she smoked the competition (along with the smoked trout pate) and got 45% of the vote. They will be getting $3,000 worth of groceries in the next year and will be getting Cambria countertops in their kitchen. And because their kitchen is on the small side they will probably be able to get their bathroom done too! Thanks to all who voted--this is a great win for the Daughertys!

apparently i'm a golden oldie

2010-01-11T18:21:00.002-06:00

Do you ever wonder what demographic advertisers are trying to hit in the shows you watch? I watch quite a bit on History and Discovery and apparently only seniors watch it. The ads are always for Citrical, The Scooter Store, or Boniva (such a gross name). There must also be a large percentage of people who have beefs with the Social Security Administration or people who have a "structured settlement and they need cash now"--that one comes along with a nice little song that is pretty catchy. Call JG Wentworth, he'll hook you up!

So I'm a golden oldie before my time. Lovely.

i resolve to have a resolution

2010-01-05T15:57:00.002-06:00

I think New Year's resolutions are pretty worthless. They are fun to come up with but really hard to stick with. With that said, I have made a resolution for this year! :)

I resolve to clean out my freezers and my pantry. I have piles of food at my house and no idea what I bought them for or what to do with them. So I let them sit until they spoil or get so freezer burned that they are unidentifiable.

So today I made an inventory of the freezers and the pantry. I posted this inventory on the pantry door. I pulled out some stuff that I knew what to do with for tonight. I am off to a good start!

Does anyone know of a great website where you can put in a few ingredients and it will show you recipes that will work? I know Google does that but I was wondering if there were any actual recipe websites that do that.

BTW, Pibs has polished off an entire can of mandarin oranges since noon today. I found it whilst cleaning the pantry--imagine that!

introducing more>>coaching

2010-01-04T15:06:00.001-06:00

(This is the email I sent out earlier)

Greetings friends!

I am excited to introduce more>>coaching! Starting a coaching business has been a dream of mine for quite some time and I, along with my business partners Sally Foot Reed and Terri Miller, are thrilled that it has finally come to fruition.

more>>coaching exists to help individuals, couples, families, small groups and teams understand their strengths and how they can best put their strengths to work in their lives and their world. We use the StrengthsFinder tool developed by Gallup. When we use our strengths, we feel more engaged, energized and excited about what we do. Understanding our strengths can have a great impact on the way we make decisions and interact with those around us.

more>>coaching offers a unique two session approach. The first session focuses on understanding your strengths; the second session focuses on putting those strengths to work and using them in daily life.

If learning and understanding your strengths sounds like something you or someone you know could benefit from, please connect with me! You can reach me at rachelolson@gmail.com or morecoachinginfo@gmail.com.

reflections on a decade

2009-12-30T19:21:00.002-06:00

I know many people feel that this past decade has been a big stinker but for me personally, it was wonderful! Some of the highlights:
-became a wife!
-had two fabulous kids!
-bought 2 houses
-bought 4 cars
-found a vocation that is the perfect fit
-hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and back out in one day
-took some great family vacations
-watched both of Em's kids being born
-became active and involved in a small church
-continued employment for Jay despite the economy

Granted, there are downers from this year. 9/11 being a huge one; the wars that are still ongoing; financial crisis; 4 car accidents (only one was my fault!); deaths of extended family members. But overall, I still think of the decade as being pretty great!

I feel like my life is turning out just as I hoped it would. Granted, I didn't have a firm plan on what that was going to look like but I am liking how it is unfolding! :)

Here's to the next decade being just as great!